Lost
It is October already. 2 months more will be in 2020. I am writing this in the middle of the night in teary, miserable feelings. I started felt lost on my life path. I started stress-eating, I gain 10kg over 2 months. I become more obese. I shut myself. Everything went other side way around.
I am literally broken all apart. I could not sleep. I always thought of suiciding. God have mercy to me. Please. I always piss off over nothing. A simple matter, but I am easily pissing off. I get mad over silly thing. I wrecking myself. I always sleepy. In the mood to sleep 24/7. No motivation at all.
I woke up everyday, i just want to get that day over. I just want to snuggle in my bed. Keep myself under the blanket. I procrastinated my work. I fell worthless. As perhaps I hate myself. I hate everything around me. Just hate it.
I am disgusted with myself. I keep trying to choke myself. I talk alone. I giggle out of sudden for no reason. I dont know what it cause. But it is getting worst from day to day. My insecurities has been controlling my self. My negativity. Toxic surrounding.
I am bummed!
I tried to crawl to get out this dark pit. But no. Nothing happen. I am pissed off with everything happen. I just hate it. I keep myself in dark. Dark is my bestfriends. I started stop grooming myself. I became slobby which I know I am not!
Is this the sign of depression? Or it just a phase?
I don't know. I hope I can crawl out from this mess that I created.
Adib, just try stay alive. Please.
I am literally broken all apart. I could not sleep. I always thought of suiciding. God have mercy to me. Please. I always piss off over nothing. A simple matter, but I am easily pissing off. I get mad over silly thing. I wrecking myself. I always sleepy. In the mood to sleep 24/7. No motivation at all.
I woke up everyday, i just want to get that day over. I just want to snuggle in my bed. Keep myself under the blanket. I procrastinated my work. I fell worthless. As perhaps I hate myself. I hate everything around me. Just hate it.
I am disgusted with myself. I keep trying to choke myself. I talk alone. I giggle out of sudden for no reason. I dont know what it cause. But it is getting worst from day to day. My insecurities has been controlling my self. My negativity. Toxic surrounding.
I am bummed!
I tried to crawl to get out this dark pit. But no. Nothing happen. I am pissed off with everything happen. I just hate it. I keep myself in dark. Dark is my bestfriends. I started stop grooming myself. I became slobby which I know I am not!
Is this the sign of depression? Or it just a phase?
I don't know. I hope I can crawl out from this mess that I created.
Adib, just try stay alive. Please.
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